Live Long and Prosper, J.J. Abrams

Star Trek (2009)

Over the last decade, as the Next Generation film franchise sank deeper and deeper into irrelevancy, questions began to arise regarding the fate of the USS Enterprise and its intrepid crew. Will we ever see them again? Does Professor X have the patience for anymore of these films? Are they really going to start making Deep Space Nine movies? An incredibly small percentage of the world’s population awaited the answers with frantic anticipation.

And then came director J.J. Abrams, the man who brought us the underrated Cloverfield a few years back, holding a camera, a script, lots of studio money, and a syringe. Without hesitation, he stuck the needle into the Star Trek movie universe and injected it with a shot of much needed amphetamine that (let’s face it) it had never had before. The result is arguably the most flat out enjoyable movie experience this side of Harry Potter, shitting all over the recent Star Wars and Indiana Jones disasters without bothering to flush.

Star Trek examines the roots of the original Enterprise crew, the circumstances surrounding their initial encounter, and their first major mission together. They are all here at their most youthful and energetic, a far cry from the doddering geezers some may remember from the original films: Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekhov, Scottie, and Bones McCoy, fresh from the Federation’s Starfleet Academy in (where else?) San Francisco. They don't all get along at first, and their skills are not quite up to par (Sulu has trouble getting the Enterprise out of the dock), but they are soon forced to reconcile their differences in order to battle the threat posed by a vengeful Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), who killed Kirk’s father and destroyed Spock’s home planet, mother included. Highlighted by a pair of inexplicable appearances by Tyler Perry and Winona Ryder, and a much more appropriate and enjoyable one by Leonard Nimoy, Star Trek is a pure adrenaline rush from start to finish.

To quote a friend with whom I saw the film, “It just hit all the right spots.” Sexual implications aside, he is absolutely correct: Abrams strikes a near perfect balance of humor, emotion, and bare-assed white-knuckle thrills. The casting hits the bull’s eye, the performances are pitch perfect, the script and pacing are relentless, and the sound effects (when heard at their very best) will blow you out of your seat and into the parking lot.

Seeing this film is a reminder of just how much fun can be had at the movies. The audience is right on board from the thrilling first sequence to the nostalgic concluding homage, with no breaks in between and no shortage of laughs and thrills. I am a bit disappointed to find that I have nothing bad to say about this film. Wait a minute, no I’m not. This is what an adventure movie should be. I never thought I’d find myself saying this, but I am eagerly looking forward to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 2.

AND...

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Probably the most famous of the original Star Trek film series (besides maybe the one with the Humpback Whales), The Wrath of Khan is a relatively solid but ultimately unsatisfying science fiction venture. Although it features a strong performance from Ricardo Montalban as Khan, and some particularly memorable moments (the brain sucking insect crawling into Chekhov’s ear, for example), it all amounts to little more than an overextended episode of the TV series, with few surprises and even less character development.

The plot concerns the exiled Khan and his squad of blonde, genetically engineered supermen, and their attempts to exact revenge against Admiral James T. Kirk (the smug, ever-wooden William Shatner), whom Khan blames for his wife’s death. The dastardly villain plans to do this by obtaining the barely explained Genesis device, which has the dual capability of creating life from scratch and completely eradicating it. Underdeveloped subplots concerning Kirk’s son and Khan’s seething hatred for the Enterprise crew (both of which were probably explained in the TV show, but will remain meaningless to the casual viewer) coupled with a simplistic, generally unexciting plotline, ultimately solidify this as a failed outing.

The main problem is that we never believe Khan has any chance whatsoever of defeating Kirk. Not only has he been wasting away on a desert planet for years, he is greatly outnumbered and flying a stolen Federation ship that is significantly smaller, weaker, and less impressive than the Enterprise. To top it all off, Kirk knows way more about Khan’s ship than Khan does, giving him the undisputed advantage in every one of their encounters. From first frame to last, Khan never stands a chance, and as a result, his defeat is more “snore” than “encore.”

Of interest to fans of the newest Star Trek entry is Wrath of Khan’s recurring reference to Kirk’s solution to the Kobayashi Maru test, which is a thematic and narrative centerpiece of the newer film. We also get to see the inspiration for Chris Pine’s take on the arrogant young Kirk, and Karl Urban’s mordant and hilarious Dr. McCoy, in William Shatner and DeForest Kelley’s respective performances. But in the end, give me the J.J. Abrams Trek over this middling relic any day, and I’ll go to sleep with a smile on my face.